Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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