Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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