having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
