This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
