I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are we still banned from the library?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
