My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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