I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
