my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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