omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
