I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
