Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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