...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
