i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
