i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize