Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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