it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize