Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Randomize
