its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
