That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
