So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize