Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
