Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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