Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize