I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
