Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
