I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
