the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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