im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
