nut hugger
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
