i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
