One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
