Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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