I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize