dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
