More tranny stories later!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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