hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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