jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
