You just made me feel so damn special
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
