all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
