your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
