No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
