it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
