they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
