i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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