This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
