Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
