Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
