Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i dont even know how to be here
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
