i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
