Just cropdusted the office
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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