I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
