i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
