arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
