Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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