i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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