Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least š
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize