This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
