We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
