i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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