He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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