so explain again why im purple
no
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
