i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
