you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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