You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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