I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are we in a gay sports bar?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I understand Curling. That high.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
