Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
