so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
