Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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