Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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