I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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