we made out on top of his cat.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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