she was so not down for the gang bang
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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