are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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